Not Without You
by PebblesRipples
Summary: A potentially angsty story involving Samcedes I had rediscovered I'd written. Mercedes is trying to do the right thing and far as she is concerned the best way to avoid anyone getting hurt in this situation is to pretend the feelings aren't there.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm not sure what I'm doing, I'd been writing this alongside my other story, and realised I'd actually written a lot of it though in bits and pieces. I came back to it and started getting carried away editing it... I don't know may take it down as I'm not sure posting another story that I may take an age to complete is such good idea.**

 **Glee and characters aren't mine.**

 **Not Without You**

 **December 2014**

She had to leave. Continuing to watch him was creating a stabbing sensation in that piece of flesh that had for so long felt empty and numb, and now it was telling her it was alive through every aching beat. She wished it would return to numbness. Still she was happy for him, because he was happy, as he radiated a warm smile at the woman in his arms, it still hurt deep down, when she cared to admit it and thought about how she was not that woman.

The rational part of her brain soon reignited back into action, reminding her why she _should_ _not_ be that woman. Being with him was tainted with her mistakes and her selfishness.

She should _never_ be that woman.

Mercedes silently made her way out into the frosty night.

This was all her fault, she thought, but at least now, she could do the right thing. And if that meant lying to her self or pretending to herself that whatever she felt or he might have felt, meant nothing, than that was how it had to be. After all to even admit the alternative could even marginally be possible was unbearable. So, that was the choice she was making, because that was what it was about, doing the right thing.

And she was right, she concluded, as she looked one last time at his sparkling eyes, trained on the woman he had loved long before she ever showed up, everything was as it should be.

Mercedes stepped away and slipped out of the celebrations.

"Goodbye, Sam" She whispered.

She looked down at her protruding abdomen feeling a dull pang and rubbed at it, with a sigh.

She grabbed her bag and made her way outside to her taxi.

She settled in the cab and opened her purse.

"Oh shucks" she realised.

X

Everyone applauded, as the couple finished their dance. Sam hugged Quinn and let go of her. He looked around the room at the faces smiling, noticing one in particular was missing.

He whispered in Quinn's ear "I just have something I need to check upstairs"

"Ok sure" she nodded, patting down his lapel and giving him a smile, "Don't be too long"

Sam took Quinn's hand and rubbed it. He turned away and walked to the lobby, hoping that maybe Mercedes had not gone just yet, not without saying good bye.

He was stupid to run after her, stupid to think she would want to see him after everything and he was stupid to look for her, but he had to.

The lobby was decidedly empty and he stepped onto the street outside noticing that a taxi was parked there.

He rushed up to the door that was still half open and pulled it.

"Mercedes?" he called to the passenger seat.

It was empty.

"Sorry sir this cab is taken" the driver said over his shoulder from his seat.

"Where did she go?"

"Said she forgot something"

Sam ran back into the building he called the elevator, pushing at the button frantically.

It finally arrived and she pressed the top floor button up to the office.

X

Mercedes opened the top drawer of her old desk and looked inside.

She breathed a sigh of relief. It was still where she left it.

She picked the envelope up and slipped it in her bag.

Then she returned to the hall switching off the lights and calling the elevator.

To her relief one was already arriving and she stood in front of it watching the floor numbers increase on the counter until it arrived.

 _Ding!_

The door opened.

Mercedes froze dead in her tracks when she saw him, the only movement she could muster was a slackened jaw and the tightening of her fingers around the strap of her bag.

"You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye were you?" he said at her widened eyes.

Mercedes eyes dropped downwards, she rubbed at her abdomen, that pang again.

"I already said goodbye" she said looking back up at him tensing her jaw with more determination "I have to go Sam"

"Ok hop in!"

She stared hard at him from where she stood.

"You aren't coming out?"

"Nope," he shrugged "I found what I was looking for"

Sam's gaze stayed fixed on her.

She was not going to give him the satisfaction of showing her annoyance., "I think I'll take the next one"

"Don't you have the meter running on that taxi downstairs?"

She released a heated breath and closed her eyes, feeling another pang in her abdomen, she didn't know if she could wait so long.

"Fine" she stomped inside and turned away from him facing the entrance.

She could feel Sam's eyes observe her intently.

"Why are you doing this Sam?" she said and shook her head, her eyes remained focused ahead of her.

Sam stood by the controls and pressed the button to close the elevator door.

"I just wanted to make sure I saw you, one last time, try and convince you to stay" he watched her profile that was working hard at not turning to look at him.

"I can't stay" she said at the door and shook her head.

They stood in silence for a while.

"Are you going to push that button or what?!" she said turning her head finally to look at him with raised eyebrows and a hand on her hip.

"I just wanted to talk" Sam said, with a casual shrug of his shoulders.

" _Sam_ " she said her tone warning, sliding her hand along her abdomen, feeling that that shooting pain again but trying to hide her discomfort.

Sam just watched her from where he stood.

"This is ridiculous!" She exhaled and walked to Sam's side of the elevator, pushing him a little to reach the button. She pressed it and the elevator started to whirr into action, she returned to where she stood, staring hard at the door.

"Why are you leaving Mercedes?"

"I think you know why" she said quietly and then started to rub her abdomen again "And you know… I don't appreciate you playing these ridiculous games with me Sam"

"I'm not playing any games Mercedes"

"Yeah right" she shook her head and then suddenly sighed deeply over the sharp pain that hit her, "Ouch"

Sam noticed the distress in her face.

"Are you ok?" he leaned towards her.

"Yes I'm fine!" she snapped raising a hand for him to keep his distance.

Sam's back raised a little as he took in a deep breath in response to her outburst, but he understood where it was coming from, of course he did. He stood back a little to give her room, but stayed looking at her with a soft expression.

"Mercedes"

"I just need you to back off Sam, okay?"

The elevator suddenly stopped and lights dimmed.

Mercedes grabbed on to the handle bar behind her.

"What the hell?" She said, looking around her and at the elevator control panel, the buttons were now lit up red.

"Looks like its stuck" Sam started pushing at the buttons.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Hey! I didn't cause this" he shot back at her.

"I bet you would if you could" she muttered.

Sam looked at her and sighed.

"You know you're probably right" he smirked, pressing the emergency call button.

Mercedes sniggered over the sound of the ringing and shook her head.

Mercedes sighed sharply in pain, hunching over.

"Mercedes!" Sam said suddenly and put his arm on her shoulder.

"I'm okayyy!" her voice was barely audible as it cracked over her discomfort that only confirmed that she was definitely not "okay".

"How often have they been coming?"

Mercedes looked up at Sam angrily and then sighed as her stance relaxed ever so slightly. She shook her head "They started this afternoon and now they're just more often…I'm sure its' nothing…"

"Hmmm" he studied her and narrowed his eye brows, calculating in his mind, "Maybe you should sit down for a bit…have a rest"

Mercedes was about to refuse being fussed over but then another sharp pain caused her to buckle a little and she leaned on Sam.

"Mercedes, please just let me help"

She turned her head upwards at him, his eyes were pleading, his forehead furrowed, with concern etched across his face, she knew he just wanted to help her and the pang that followed reminded her that she was definitely in no position to be oppositional right now.

She sighed gazing at him and slowly nodded.


	2. Chapter 2

**January 2014  
**

"Thank you so much for accepting the position on such short notice" his voice was emphatic, no longer hurried and flustered as it had been yesterday on the phone.

"Well thank you, Dr Evans" Mercedes responded, clutching the bag on her shoulder as she looked up at him with equally grateful emphasis, "for giving me the Job"

"Please call me Sam" he smiled a lop-sided smile at her, which made Mercedes feel confused at the strange feeling of reassurance it gave her.

"Thank, you…er Sam" Mercedes said.

Sam sighed and placed his hands in his pockets, rocking on his feet.

"Ok well, this will be your office, which connects to the reception area there" he gestured "and this is the..er.. yikes… sorry the appointment …system is a little…"

The blonde man began to scratch his head looking for something likely long buried beneath a pile of papers.

"Jumbled?" Mercedes ventured tentatively, pressing her lips together.

"Yeah..." Sam replied sheepishly at her "Edna was in charge of it all and then she got sick, we wanted to keep her job open and I thought I could handle it rather than rush to find someone else but as you can see after two months she's not back and Figgins and I have some how managed to turn this place upside down!"

"Don't worry, Dr Evans " Sam raised his eye brows at her and she shook her head correcting herself, "I mean er Sam, I think can find my way around"

Mercedes reassured him with a competent smile as she surveyed the office.

Sam turned his head and looked around the office too although his eyes widened with mild horror, "Really?"

"Of course… It's my job… you go get on with yours…I can manage" She nodded emphatically as Sam observed her for a moment then smiled, relieved.

"Thank you Mercedes. If you need anything I'm just down the hall" he replied beaming at her gratefully before scurrying out of the office across the hall, to his own.

Mercedes sighed as she watched him leave, then she shook her head and busied her self reorganising the train-wreck of papers sprinkled around the table like giant confetti, wondering exactly how they had managed to let it get _this_ bad in two months.

"Wowww!" Sam was wide eyed as he entered the office later that day.

"Is everything ok?" Mercedes responded quickly and looked up from a pile of files that she was arranging on a shelf.

"Yes…I mean…Just wondering how you managed to clean this place up so well and so quickly?" He scratched his head, marvelling at the neatly organised files on the shelf, the cleared table, even the plants looked they had been watered. "This is incredible!"

"Like I said…it's my job" Mercedes smiled clutching the files she was tidying in the crook of her arm, as she looked around the office then back at Sam and shrugged.

Sam looked back at her, studying her profile for a moment, before allowing his eyes to take another sweep back around the room.

"You know, Mercedes, I have a feeling that I- I mean -we are not going to be able to live without you"

X

"So this is Doctor Figgins" Sam gestured to the older man, with thinning white silver hair and tan brown skin "the senior partner"

"Pleasure to meet you Dr Figgins" Mercedes said, standing up from her desk and, stretching out her hand.

"Welcome Ms Jones" Dr Figgins said, shaking her hand, "I've been told some great things about you"

"Really- Well it's only been a couple of days!" Mercedes said looking at Sam from the corner of her eye who simply grinned and nodded back at her.

"Well to be honest the evidence speaks for itself, I walked into that office this morning and wow what a transformation from last week!"

"Thanks" she said and dipped her head for a moment then straightened her back "Well I still have a few more things to shift around, but things should be running back smoothly soon enough!"

"Things already feel like they're running smoothly" Figgins said "That right Sam?"

"I'll say!" Sam nodded and raised his thumb at them both.

Mercedes found herself giggling unexpectedly at his enthusiastic gesture. Sam's nose wrinkled a little as he looked at her and Mercedes looked back at Figgins then to her desks, "Well, um I guess we better get back to it" she said and sat back down at the computer.

Sam smiled at her and nodded.

Mercedes continued, "So, Dr Figgins you start with a ten o'clcok appointment with Mrs Ingleman and you" she looked up at Sam "have Mr Johnson also at ten"

X

"Oh hey! You're still here?" Sam said, when he walked into the office and saw Mercedes behind a computer screen and a stack of papers on her desk.

"Yeah" Mercedes said, "just wanted to finish a couple of things before I leave"

"I'm sure they can wait until tomorrow?"

"I guess I just want to know its all in order so when I come tomorrow it will be easier to contact the patients on the old list, rather than go between the two lists constantly- "

Sam smiled at her and folded his arms.

"What?" Mercedes stopped mid sentence.

"Nothing" Sam said a little wide eyed.

"Er ok" she squinted at him for a moment then looked down at her papers and shook her head.

Sam tilted his head and smiled at her from the door way where he stood, "You know that new system you put in- it's life changing!"

Mercedes couldn't help but laugh a little at his enthusiasm, she continued to look at her screen and added, "Like I said it's-"

"Your job?" Sam said, interrupting her, making her look up at him from her computer.

"Yeah" Their eyes locked for a moment and Mercedes back looked down, "Is there any thing I can help you with Dr Evans- I mean Sam?"

"I was wondering when you were going to say it" Sam pressed his lips together.

"Say what?"

"My name"

"You noticed" Mercedes bit her lip, she had been avoiding addressing Dr Sam Evans directly, ever since he invited her to call her Sam, she was not sure why but she felt a little awkward about relaxing those professional boundaries, "I guess it will take a little getting used to"

"That's ok" Sam said with a smile lingering at the corner of his lips "Anyway I was just going out to grab some take out- do you want anything?"

"Me? Oh no thanks" Mercedes smiled and shook her head.

"Are you sure?"

Mercedes paused and looked at Sam who was smiling at her as he leant a little against door, her heart rate picked up and she swallowed trying to ignore the rippling muscle definition she could make out through his shirt, which soon reminded her of Matt.

"Yes sure - thanks Sam- I really am nearly done here" she refocused back on her desk computer screen and shook her head at herself for enjoying that view a little too much. _Definitely need to stop doing that._

"Ok then, maybe next time" he said with a nod, glancing at her one more time from the corner of his before leaving her.

X

"Mercedes?"

Mercedes looked up from her computer "Hey, you ok?"

"No not really" Sam sighed

Mercedes eyes widened and back straightened as she focused on Sam "What happened?"

Sam's carefully executed "serious face" nearly cracked into a smile, at her endearing look of concern, "I have a great administrator who refuses to take a break"

Mercedes shook her head and her eyes rolled up a little, "Dr…er…Sam, it's fine"

Sam grinned at her ever hesitant use of his first name and continued, "Look- I'm ordering take out…. You're joining me...not asking… so not taking no for an answer…I'm thinking this Thai menu looks good"

Sam waved the menu and Mercedes face broke into a large grin as her shoulders shook with amusement.

"Thai you say?" Mercedes bit at her lower lip, it did look tempting.

"Yep" Sam nodded, sensing he was winning.

"Well in that case…" she said, gesturing for him to hand her the menu she could look at it.

Sam pumped his fist satisfied with his small victory as he handed it to her and she studied it.

Under an hour later they were sat at the meeting room, dividing dishes and settling to eat.

"So…er.." Sam began "I was looking at your resume, and it said that you trained as an RN?"

Mercedes chewed at her mouthful and nodded slowly, expecting that the question would come up sooner or later.

"Yeah" she said as if guilty as charged.

Sam titled his head "I guess you decided nursing wasn't for you?"

Mercedes shifted uncomfortably, "I just needed a break from it…had quite a year last year and lots going on"

"Oh….So you think you might go back to it?"

Mercedes paused for a minute.

"Sorry I don't mean to pry" Sam said suddenly sensing Mercedes discomfort.

"No- no its ok…" Mercedes politely reassured "I guess I just haven't really decided yet…"

"Well if there's anything me or Figs or Penny can do to help… we can see what we can do"

"Sure…thanks…Sam" she smiled widely at him.

Sam grinned, "how you finding the food?"

"It's amazing….this shrimp is so good!" she said as licked her lips "how about you?"

"I'm loving it…I'll be adding these guys to the list!"

"The list?" Mercedes raised an eye brow

"My…er…list of take out menus…."

Mercedes looked at him from the corner of her eye "You do this often?"

Sam smiled sheepishly at her and shrugged his shoulders, "Er….maybe?"

She raised her eye brows.

Sam was silent "umm"

Mercedes mouth widened, "Really?"

"What!" Sam's chopsticks danced in the air as he tried to shrug of her look of incredulity "I eat home sometimes"

"Sometimes?"

"Sure…when my girlfriend's home" Sam nodded and sighed " I mean she travels a lot so…"

"Right" Mercedes nodded, and pressed her lips together into a softened smile, as if somehow reading something into what he was not saying.

She looked at him and after a moment said, "Don't like being home alone huh?"

"Yeah…I guess" Sam looked back at her and smiled wistfully, their eyes met, with a shared understanding and caused them to linger a little longer than expected.

Mercedes eyes darted away and she moved the contents of her food about in her plate and sighed.

Sam studied her a while.

Mercedes could feel Sam's eyes on her and tried to find something else to talk about, "So have you heard from Edna?"

"Edna?" Sam sighed as he watched her for a moment, "She is doing better…but she's got a long way to go"

"Poor thing" Mercedes frowned empathically "I hope she recovers ok"

"Yeah… at least we have excellent cover till then!" Sam's face beamed at Mercedes, and she shook her head… "Although if you do end up deciding to back into nursing before then…I don't know what we'll do!"

Mercedes laughed, "Don't worry that won't happening anytime soon"

Sam paused wondering at her comment, at which point his phone suddenly buzzed a couple of time and then stopped. He looked at it and his eye brows raised.

"Sorry" he frowned a little as he stood up "It's my girlfriend- I better call her back"

"Sure thing!" Mercedes said with a nod, relieved a little, "I probably should finish up with that service report and then get home"

He smiled and nodded, "Ok…well if you have to go- please don't feel you have to stay and wait or anything ok?"

Mercedes nodded.

Sam grinned and Mercedes began to clear away the boxes and plates.

"Oh don't worry about these" he said as he walked towards his office, "I clear up after… you get back to what you were doing"

"Are you sure?" she paused and with a small wrinkle forming on her forehead.

"Yeah! I mean it was my treat anyway" he winked and nodded, "I'll catch you later"


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks so much for the encouraging reviews.** **Still warming up with this one but here goes...**

 **Glee and characters etc not mine.**

 **February 2014**

Mercedes was blissfully unaware of what she getting herself embroiled in when Nurse Penny rushed into her office with what appeared to be half a box of muffins that morning. She hurriedly asked if it could be stored in some cupboard by Edna's old photos of her son and in spite of the pecularity of the request, Mercedes didn't really see any harm in it as she let Penny squirrel away the container.

"I'll explain later" she said and sprang out, Mercedes raised eyebrows fell as she nodded and returned to her work barely registering the exchange.

It was not until later when Mercedes went to get herself a cup of coffee in the team room, that she began to understand that she may have unwittingly entangled herself in some strange ritual warfare at the Figgins and Evans practice.

"You do this every time!" Penny was animated as she watched the older man attempt to sneak a couple of extra muffins from the tray.

"What?" Figgins pretended to look innocent.

Penny put her arms on her hips and just looked at him.

"Ah Mercedes!" Figgins said with a smile, noticing Mercedes standing at the doorway trying to understand what was going on, "Hello! Everything ok?"

"Er…" Mercedes opened her mouth slowly sensing something amiss, she replied slowly, "Hello…Yes…everything is fine…I think"

She looked at Penny and then at Figgins.

"Figgins don't try to change the subject" Penny shook her head and folded her arms like she was about to berate a small child.

"I'm just asking Mercedes how she's doing" Figgins shrugged his shoulders, maintaining his air of casual innocence.

Mercedes looked at Penny trying to figure what was going on and narrowed her eyes.

Penny nodded at her reassuringly, "Figgins was just returning the extra muffins he stole…"

Mercedes face broke into a smile, deciding that silence was definitely the best approach at this point.

"I'm just taking my share….." Figgins insisted, revealing the muffins from behind his back and looking at them "…. before Sam gets them!"

"Before Sam get's what?" Sam asked on perfect cue, as he walked in calmly. Figgins' posture straightened and he put his hand behind his back immediately.

Sam paused to look at everyone in the room in turn. Each remained silent.

"Guys?" Sam narrowed his eyes and spoke slowly, "What's going on?"

Penny seemed unsure she wanted Sam to know about the muffins any more than she wanted Figgins to take them. She gave Sam a half smile and shook her head as she said "Nothing"

"Nothing?" Sam raised an eyebrow. He looked at Mercedes who was standing next to Penny trying very hard to avoid eye contact. Sam pressed his lips together and watched her for a moment before he directed his next question towards her, "Sure?".

Mercedes tried not to laugh at the ridiculousness that was unfolding before her eyes, unsure of what was going on and fearing she may already be involved she shrugged her shoulders and tried to look oblivious, "Yeah. I'm just getting some coffee"

"Right" Sam seemed satisfied with the response. Finally he looked at Figgins's as he folded his arms, " _Figgins."_

Figgins looked at Sam, deciding that attack was the best line of defence "Sam I'm very disappointed in you taking half the muffins"

"Hah! …I know what you're trying to do…" Sam shook his head and placed his arms on hips, "I want my share Fig's"

A minor chortle escaped from Mercedes, she placed a hand on her mouth, to stop herself from laughing out right.

"You finding this funny?" Sam's head turned to her, slightly amused himself at her response, but maintained enough of a serious expression to let Figgins know he meant business.

The whole exchange somehow only made Mercedes want to laugh harder, she shook her head, keeping her mouth covered.

"Sam you're not taking them all!" Penny insisted, jumping in "Between you and Figgins you guys end up finishing everything…us girls never get any…"

"Yes you do! You guys have that secret stash"

"Secret stash?" Figgins said, suddenly invested "And here I was thinking this was all there was"

"It is" Penny said, looking confused, "I have no idea what Sam is talking about"

"Oh yeah?" Sam remarked "What about Edna's cupboard"

"Edna's cupboard?!" Figgins repeated astonished by this new piece of information, "Which cupboard?"

"There's no cupboard Figs! Sam You're imaging things!" Penny said a hand rested on her hip as she continued using her free hand to emphasise her point, "Besides Mercedes is new … how would she know about that?"

Sam looked at Mercedes who just smiled at Sam and shrugged with a look of ambiguous innocence.

"Fine" he paused, and turned his head slowly away from her and back to Figgins" Wll look Figs you can't have them all"

Figgins narrowed his eyes at Sam.

"Come on- it's only fair" Sam said.

Figgins sighed and pulled the extra muffins he'd pilfered from behind his back "alright Sam…you win…this time"

"Thank you"

Penny smiled satisfied.

He put them back on the table and kept one to eat "This one is mine though!"

He put it in his mouth and bit at it.

"Fine" Sam said and took one too "and this one's mine"

"Um ok then….well I'm going to make some coffee" Mercedes said shuffling purposefully towards the coffee pot "Anyone want some?"

A few minutes later Penny and Mercedes could be heard laughing heartily in the reception room.

"Thanks for covering me in there earlier" Penny said as she opened the cupboard and removed the box of muffins, offering Mercedes to take one. Penny only worked a couple of days a week, so Mercedes did not see her as much as Sam or Figgins. However it was the mutual friend who they shared who was responsible for getting Mercedes the job at the practice, that had given them an affinity with each other.

Mercedes took one "I felt so guilty! Does this always happen?"

Penny laughed "You have no idea…pretty much every time Mrs Walter comes with her latest selection…. last time it was cookies- same thing happened"

Mercedes laughed sipping at her coffee, "So who wins out in the end?"

"Oh it changes- usually whoever gets there first" Penny said, "That's why Edna and I have this protected stash…we really wouldn't get any! And Sam is the worst…."

Mercedes laughed and then added curiously "But Sam knew about the cupboard?"

"Yeah…not sure how he found out…." Penny said and paused thinking to herself licking the blueberry from her finger, "Maybe when Edna got sick and he was doing more of the paper work…but I reckon we threw him off the scent"

Mercedes smiled, "Do you think he'll realise?"

"Nah" They giggled again like two school girls who'd managed to get out of trouble. After a moment Penny added thoughtfully "Saying that though- you'd better watch out just in case! Sam has a way of catching you off guard"

Mercedes smiled and nodded, "I'll remember that"

X

"That's everything?"

"Yep that's everything- and I have the last couple of bandages you asked for right here" Mercedes handed the bags to Sam.

"Excellent" Sam said as he took each bag from her and packed them into the vehicle and slammed the door shut.

He turned around expecting her to still be standing there and looked around.

"Wait? What are you doing?" he asked realising now that she was now settling down at the front in the passenger seat.

Mercedes looked up at Sam as she sat in her place "Er getting ready to go?"

"You don't have to come with me"

"Why not?"

"I normally do this shindig on my own or with Figgs- you don't have to tag along for this" His eyes wrinkled softly at the corners as he watched her, appreciative of the gesture.

"Well I'm sure you can use an extra pair of hands? I can help shift things and keep tabs on materials or just help with logistics?"

Sam looked at her and his lips pressed together as he thought about what she was saying.

"Please?" she smiled sweetly at him and a warm feeling radiated across his chest as he observed the way her perfect button nose wrinkled at him, "I want to help out"

He shook his head and succumbing to her charms with a half smile, "Well…alright then"

"Yes!" she did a double fist pump causing Sam's face to crack a little with laughter. He shut her door and walked over to driver's side, opening the door and jumping in.

Mercedes twisted the silver ring on her finger as Sam drove, he would occasionally observe her the corner of his eye as she looked out of the window.

"So er, are you sure your other half doesn't mind you doing all these late nights and extra hours"

Mercedes pressed her lips together with a wry smile at herself "Not really- well- more that he's not really at home right now for him to mind"

"Oh" Sam nodded, not entirely sure what that meant but not sure if it was his to place to really ask.

Mercedes sighed into the silence, "He's er, he's in the army- he's overseas now so…"

"Ah so you're a soldier's wife"

"Yeah" Mercedes tilted her head to the side as if guilty as charged, "That's me!"

"Well that's an amazing sacrifice you must make"

"Hmm" she looked down not entirely sure she could take any kind of credit.

"I guess you must be proud of him?" he looked at her momentarily before looking back at the road a soft smile hovering at his lips.

"I am- he's out there risking his life, serving his country" she nodded and then pressed her hands together and added after a pause "but I miss him like crazy though"

Sam nodded and stayed silent, his eyes wistful somehow sensing the heaviness in her voice.

"So I guess late nights at work, getting through your take out list and doing stuff like this- helps keep my mind off worrying about him being ok" she nodded to herself as if convincing herself it was ok.

"I can imagine that's pretty hard" he glanced at her from the corner of his eye.

"Mmm" Mercedes sighed and shrugged. She looked over to Sam "So, What about you? You mentioned you're girlfriend …I guess she doesn't mind all you're late nights either?"

Sam let out a flat laugh to himself as he turned the steering wheel, "Well - with all her business trips around the world it's not like Quinn's waiting at home for me anything"

Mercedes pressed her lips together and nodded, "How long have you-"

"Been together around four years now" Sam said, finishing her sentence before she had to complete her question.

"Oh right" Mercedes nodded.

"I know what you're thinking- why aren't we married yet?"

"No." Mercedes eyebrows raised, as she drew her head back and shook her head "I wasn't thinking that at all"

Sam turned his head to her and then watched the road again shaking his head, "Sorry

It's what friends and family like to ask us- _so Sam- when are you going to pop the question – aren't you guys ready to settle down-_ drives us both nuts"

Mercedes laughed a little, "Well, as long as it works for you guys and you're happy with how things are, right?"

Sam's nodded though his eyes maintained focused ahead of him, his face seemed a little flat, "Yeah"

Mercedes looked at him from the corner of her eye, her forehead creased a little as she observed the strange distant look on his face, she looked away thoughtfully.

"So will Quinn be back for Valentine's day?" she asked with a smile.

"Hopefully" Sam nodded.

"Hopefully?" Mercedes asked.

"Yeah" Sam squeezed the steering wheel "She'll be here, I'll be picking her up from the airport and then she's got some meetings for work, and has fly back out Saturday evening again any way-so hopefully between that we'll squeeze something in… but her schedule can change suddenly so"

Mercedes wondered at his words, as if he was describing some kind of conveyor belt of activity.

"I guess your husband will still be on duty?" Sam said his voice seemed to soften.

"Yeah.. Matt's not back for a while now" she said "But it's ok… maybe I'll work late at the office that day- at least that way I'm not sitting around thinking about him and then worrying and all…."

She laughed a little and shook her head, it was supposed to be her attempt at a joke but she knew it fell flat, as Sam looked at her from the corner of his eyes a little more seriously, "You should treat yourself anyway"

She laughed a little and shrugged, "I'll think about it"

"You should" he insisted "something to get your mind off worrying …"

She nodded with a smile "It's fine…I'll be watching Music Club and eating carrot sticks or something like that"

"Carrot sticks and Music Club?" Sam tried not to laugh too hard, "What is _Music club_ anyway?"

"Just some show that I torture myself with" she said almost rolling her eyes at herself, "I don't know why I watch it"

He laughed and Mercedes nodded laughing at herself.

"Ok! Nearly here" he said as he turned another corner and parked the car in an alley, behind a large brick building.

A buxom woman with red hair and a buoyant pair of pigtails waved from the doorway at Sam as he parked up.

"Hey Sam!" she called as she walked to the van as it stopped.

Sam pulled the breaks and took out the key from the ignition he opened the door.

"Hey Lauren! How's it going?"

"Great!" Lauren replied, as she walked towards Sam and gave him a brief hug.

Mercedes skipped out from her side and joined the pair as they greeted each other.

"So I see you have a new recruit!" Lauren said as she rotated her shoulder enthusiastically to acknowledge Mercedes.

Sam also turned to Mercedes and with an upturned palm his arm stretched out towards her, "Lauren this is my super star administrator, Mercedes Jones, she very kindly offered to help out" with his other arm Sam then gestured to Lauren "Mercedes this is Lauren Zizes, she is the head of operations here at Street Safe- the homeless charity we work with"

"Super" Lauren said her hand extended for Mercedes to shake "Pleasure to meet you Mercedes- thanks for coming…we could always use more hands here"

"Likewise- I'm glad I can help!" Mercedes shook Lauren's hand with a smile.

"How about let you guys get set up!"

Lauren had guided them through a large hall, with beds lined in rows into a room adjacent to it, where Sam would be able to see the people who would need to see a doctor.

Mercedes and Sam transferred the equipment from the car into the hall.

"What happens' next?" Mercedes asked, after everything had been set down.

"Well I like to section off this a little bit with those screend there" Sam pointed to the screens against the wall.

"Oh I see so the patients can have some privacy" Mercedes said observing them and imagining how they would go

"Yeah" Sam said with a nod and a soft expression as he looked at her "that's right"

After carefully moving each of the screens, sectioning off a corner of the room, with the bed and table enclosed, Sam then moved the medicines and equipment to make shift clinic area. Mercedes then took the extra boxes of medicine and lists of what was in them

"If you move that other table on this side and I can then help with ticking off prescriptions and any extra support I can direct them to?" she suggested

Sam paused and looked at her, his eyes glowed a little at hers.

"Unless you don't think that will work? Or there's something better for me to get on with?" Mercedes said biting her lip into the silence.

"No" Sam said shaking his head with a smile "It's a great idea-…but are you sure you want to do all that?"

"Yeah I'm- sure! That way you don't have to worry about the admin side of things too much ….plus Lauren's given us all these leaflets and I have my fair share of previous knowledge!"

Sam remembered her experience from her resume and nodded "Well in that case- that would be amazing – thank you"

X

"Hello, you must be Harvey?" Sam said with smile.

"Yeah" the little boy said quietly, seated on the bed.

"Please to meet your Harvey, I'm Dr Sam"

"Hi Dr Sam"

"So your mom tells me you've been having some problems with your ears?"

Harvey nodded slowly, "They keep on hurting"

"Hmm- that can't feel very nice!" Sam said "Do mind if I take a look with my special looking device?"

"It looks like a sonic screw driver" the little boy said his face lighting up suddenly.

Sam smiled "Oh a Dr Who fan!"

The boy grinned and nodded.

"Yeah it's like a sonic screw driver- and it will help me get a better look inside your ear"

"Ok!"

After examining both ears, the boys throat and eyes he looked at Harvey and his mother who stood by the bed next to her son and said, "I think it might be a little infected. But Some anti biotics should take care of that"

The mother looked on nervously, "Oh I don't know if we can…"

"It's ok, we can help you out with that" Sam said, writing the prescription out, he smiled at the mother and the looked at the little boy, "Now unfortunately my sonic screw driver isn't as good as Dr Who's so I can't zap that infection once and for all…but I do have another option!"

Sam wrote out a prescription and handed it to the boy …. "now if you give this paper to the lovely Ms Jones outside, she'll be able to help you out… "

The mother nodded with a grateful smile as watched the little boy take the prescription.

Mercedes helped the pair with filling in some forms for additional medication that the clinic would provide, she noticed the worried, distracted look on the mother's face and asked, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah" she tried to wrestle a smile, and sighed " I'm just… he keeps getting catching these colds and getting sick-"

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that" Mercedes sighed "Did you talk to Dr Evans about it?"

"Well….know its because of the heating it keeps breaking down and getting him enough food sometimes has been a problem sometimes"

Mercedes nodded and offered her an compassionate smile "Do you have anyone else who can help out?"

"It' just me really and Harvey really… Javier- his dad's… not in the best of health…" she bit her lip and shook her head "… and he can't really look after himself let alone us…Harvey's always wanting to see him…but…he's not in… sorry it's fine"

The woman stopped to compose her self, the emotion her eyes had already revealed how hard it was for her to continue.

"No….It's ok…" Mercedes said and tapped the woman's shoulder lightly "I understand. He's just not really able to be there for you guys right now…"

"Yeah.." she sighed, blinking back her teared eyes. "…I need to look after Harvey but… sometimes work if I can get a few Saturdays in extra hours that's double play that would go a long way…."

Mercedes nodded and thought for a moment, "Well… you know I think Lauren- who runs this place mentioned a weekend group I think for kids …."

"Really?" the mother looked at Mercedes a spark of energy returning to her at the glimmer of hope she was offering.

"Yeah let me check…she gave me some stuff …"Mercedes said as she turned to the pile of leaflets Lauran had equipped her with "…er…here"

"Oh wow" the mother said looking down at the leaflets, "Thank you so much…"

"Oh and er…if you want…." Mercedes said "I think there are some food vouchers too…"

The mother nodded appreciatively "Thanks "

"It's the least we can do" Mercedes said, "Well, Dr Evans says to come back in a couple of week to check Harvey's ear, but we're here next week if anything comes up before then"

"Thanks so much" she smiled and nodded as she gathered her things "What was your name again?"

"Oh I'm Mercedes!" she smiled

"Well thank you so much Mercedes. Bye"

"Bye!" Mercedes said "Bye Harvey!"

Sam poked his head through the curtain every now and again to see how Mercedes was getting on, although each time, he could not help but notice the way her face seemed to beam as she worked.

As the night wore on, Mercedes noticed that Sam still had a lot of patients to see.

"You know what Sam" she said when they had taken a quick break " How about I take the blood pressure and weight and stuff like that….that way it helps speeds things up and just gives you more time to talk to the patients?"

"That would be amazing" Sam smiled excitedly, "You're the best Mercedes!"

X

"Thanks so much for your help tonight" Sam said, as he stopped the car back at her apartment, after they were done for the night.

"Thanks for letting me tag along " she said, her face was glowing as if the entire evening though exhausting physically, had nourished her somehow. "I had such an amazing time! It was so great to be able to help out. You and Figgins do such great work there"

"Well it's something…I'm glad you enjoyed it" Sam smiled at the way she looked so full of light and enthusiasm "Any time you want to help again you're more than welcome- but of course it's always totally up to you!"

"Sure!" she smiled at Sam, who's eyes seemed to sparkle back at her with an intensity that made her heart pound a little faster and caused her the cheeks on her skin to warm unexpectedly. She swallowed trying to compose her self-looking down for the door handle to pull it open, "Well er I better get going- I'll see you back at the office on tomorrow"

"See you then- although you can come in a little later seeing as spent half night up with me- I mean doing something work related…if you want.."

"Really?" her eyes widened a little in excitement.

"Yeah! Get your beauty sleep" Sam said and added quickly "Not that you need it"

"Hah! Cause no amount of beauty sleep is gonna fix this mug" she giggled inside at her own joke but kept a straight face as she looked at Sam.

"Nooo!" Sam said in panic his frown insistent "that's not what I meant…I meant that you cause you're already beautiful so you don't need any beauty sleep…I mean…"

Mercedes just laughed and closed her eyes at which point Sam shook his head realising how amused at the whole exchange she really was and sinking his teeth into his lower lip as he accepted defeat.

"That was too easy" she shook with laughter.

"I'll get you back for that" he smirked at her taking in a sigh.

"We'll see" she smiled and sighed looking away from him, her voice seemed to quieten as she continued "Any way…I better get going"

Sam sighed and nodded as she stepped out of the car and found her back on firm ground. She looked at him and grinned, stray curls had fallen onto her face. Sam paused to look at her. He swallowed hard to calm that racing heartbeat that was thumping like a warning alarm in his chest.

"Night Dr-…." She laughed and Sam chuckled as she stopped and corrected herself before slamming the door shut, "Good night Sam"

"Good night Mercedes" he managed to reply, and pressed his lips together.

X

Mercedes felt the tap on her right shoulder, she looked over it but saw no one there, and so turned to her left to be greeted by a smiling Sam holding up a red envelope in his hand.

"Happy Valentine's day!" he beamed.

Mercedes eyes widened, her limbs stiffened as she processed the gesture, "Er…..wow…Sam…um I haven't really…"

He laughed at her surprised expression and gestured for her to take the envelope, "I know Matt, is out on duty, and I figure you'd be spending Valentines day alone, so I thought you might appreciate a little something"

Mercedes pressed her lips together her uncomfortable frown softening, she looked down at the envelope and took it slowly.

"Open it!"

She ran her finger under the seal and slowly peeled open the envelope.

Her eyes lit up with a soft smile, in spite of herself as she looked inside.

It was a gift certificate for a spa, for day of "luxury treatments and pampering".

"Something to treat yourself for all the hard work you've been doing …"

"Thanks Sam" she looked up at him, her soulful eyes meeting his, she felt uncomfortable yet touched by his thoughtfulness at the same, "that's really kind"

"My pleasure" he said sighing over his quickening pulse rate, his mouth seemed unable to produce any kind of intelligible sound as he tried to find something to say, it was just a friendly gesture he just wanted to make sure she had something to look forward to, something that could help get her mind off things, that didn't involve working late at the practice, "So um….well…I .hope you enjoy…it… I mean you can use it any time this year when you get bored of Music Club"

Her nose wrinkled at the endearing way he seemed to move backwards out of the room as he tried to find the words to say.

"Oh this is definitely better than music club" she laughed.

His face broke into a grin even as his feet were fumbling to leave, "I'll catch you later"

"Sure" she sighed after he left and looked down again at the card, she smiled, and then caught herself. Realising her mistake, she tried to find a way to not get caught in the web of deadly indulgent butterflies threatening to flutter into her stomach.

She closed her eyes and pressed her thumb against the cool silver of her wedding ring, before returning to what she was doing.

X

 **A/N Ok so hope that wasn't terrible. I'm feeling afraid.**

 **Lamimi25 in answer to your question- yes ;)**

[p.s. For those that read it I've been working on the next chapter for SOWK but still a bit of block with it...sorry its taking a while.]


End file.
